Behind the Scenes
trying to access my words
Are we working for Isra-hell and the US Empire? Is that who the Internet belongs to now? WTAF. Like, it’s just overwhelming to know that there is no safety in the world. There is no place we can go that isn’t littered with camera’s and surveilance.
I wanna share a behind-the-scenes of my creative practice as of late but everytime I get close to posting, another shift, event, catastrophe takes place. Life feels like it’s moving at rapid speed. Maybe that’s what it means to have teens in your life? Or maybe it’s just what life with a neuro-different brain is like.
Well, here we go!
I live with two amazing teens, two cats and my husband in a small house. I say small, because I am white and come from a middle-class background where space, privacy, and clean surfaces is a standard that buzzes in my ears. It hurts my brain to see mess everywhere. But it’s just there. No matter how often I try to clean it up, it’s still there. Small spaces, seem to do that. And so, I have to just give up for a time and sit and write or draw, or cry!
I’m invovled in several online art hangouts and I’m about to add another! Yay for community within the empire.
I’ve been working on auto-bio comics since summer 2025. I haven’t shared much of them because they are all in rough stages and quite personal! I had no idea how long it takes to get a comic made!
My goal is to have two completed and posted on my website so I can apply to table at the Prairie Comics Festival coming this fall. I’m a newbie to this genre. The language and artists are all new to me. But I’m deeply moved by their work. I’ve been reading more and more auto-bio graphic novels. I’m blown away by how much a reader can grasp within a small image. The landscapes, the time period, the culture, the symbolism of the artist, their personality and way of experiencing the world. It’s so visceral and intimate. It’s as if someone not only takes a photo of their experience, but puts themself in the photo, with words and expressions that wouldn’t be visible otherwise.
I’m using comics as a medium for processing my trauma. I’m finding it the perfect space to go back in my memory and jot down images, triggers, feelings, and thoughts that have been lodged in my brain for forty-five years! Not only am I retrieving these memories, I’m also experiencing new memories. Ha! Isn’t that a wonderful concept? Yes. I’m not kidding. I’m building a new repertoir of memories placed over or beside the old memories.
Within IFS (Internal Family Systems) visualization therapy, I’m engaging with my child self from a position of love, kindness and empathy. I’m visiting her in whatever traumatized state she is in. Present-day triggers become pathways to accessing those stuck memories and breathing life and love into them. The body knows what they are and how to gently release them. Although, it’s not always gentle. Sometimes it feels down right dangerous. So I wouldn’t recommend doing this alone.
In the above image I’m giving a glimpse into the graphics I’m working on for this current comic. Four stages to the unblending process (an IFS term for separating from trauma state). This healing work has been the most transformational in my life.
As I was drawing these images I didn’t feel any big emotions. This was reassuring to me that the work I’ve done is starting to settle and take root. I though I had a completed collection of drawings but after printing them out and organizing them, I realized there were a lot of gaps to fill in for the reader! So I’m back to the drawing board with another week’s work ahead of me!
Thanks for reading! Stay warm (if you live in the north) both inside and out.
No AI was used for this piece. Though I’m sure they will steal and scrape whatever they can from my outpouring of love. Please share with others who might be curious about IFS, healing trauma or comic book creation!